Last month, I spent some time solo-brunching to do some deep thinking around my goal setting for 2020. I reflected on the beginnings of this process and why it is so important to me.
How it all began.
I started setting goals for my year starting in the months leading up to 2017. Broke as hell, disillusioned, and faced with a huge roadblock on my path to my career goal. I would be leaving my PhD program and a city I had planned to spend the next few years of my life in. Most importantly, my depression was at an all-time high. I needed some clarity and direction.
During this time I worked at a bookstore and it was that time of year where all the good stuff was on sale. I started with the intention to organize my life and clear psychological clutter. I bought a book titled “Organize Your Life” which really had me investigate habits I had for years. After that, I started to read one self-help book after another and pulled out the tidbitsI felt necessary to keep myself accountable to. My goal was to improve my life condition as much as was in my power to do.
Some of my goals for that year were:
- Present at a conference ✔️
- Get credit utilization down to 50%❌
- Get my License ❌
- Save toward car downpayment ✔️
- Start a blog✔️
- Get better paying job✔️
- Transfer schools✔️
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Fast forward to now. Some weeks ago I lamented on Facebook about feeling unfulfilled while also being cognizant of the fact that I was in a swing of heightened depression emotions. Something changed not long after I posted that status after I regrounded myself in my reality. I referred to my goals for the year and realized that I had neglected them in the fog that was the summer of this year. I reminded myself that it was important for me to invest my best in actualizing very intentional goals.
I’m very much intrinsically motivated by reaching goals. I’m especially fired up by those that require a bit of discipline and consistency to realize. As I more closely tracked my progress, I became more excited about getting up every day.
A real turning point was when I started closing in on my goals around my credit. Seeking financial stability has been a running theme since I started tracking goals. There is a direct correlation between the state of my depression and the state of my financial affairs. My time in my 1st PhD program hit my credit score by over 150 points. Ain’t nothing like hiding in plain sight from creditors. I’ve gained back over 100 pts as of last week.
Goal Setting, Refined
This year was the first year I centered my goal setting around a theme for how I wanted to live and it was “Self-Love and Stability”. Revisiting that in writing reminded me that I wanted to be in a place where I prioritize my needs above all else while being in a place that was not as transitional as the previous years of my life since graduating college. I made myself invest my dollars into this. My healthy savings account allowed me to leave a harmful work environment without having a job already lined up.
Some of my goals for 2019 appealed to self-care by keeping things I enjoy at the front of my mind. One for this year was to attend 3 concerts. The 1st I attended was Anthony Hamilton and Jazmine Sullivan. All know is that I was in tears a number of times and felt like the music was physically embracing me while I confronted emotions. I was not ready.
In August, I saw the Jonas Brothers and it brought me back to a simpler time in life. That nostalgia was a motivating experience after having started a new job following a leap of faith. Next month, I’ll be seeing PJ Morton and I expect to have another experience of emotional hugs that remind me of how love makes the world spin.
Goal Setting reflections
These experiences have been key to helping me feel like life as it exists in worth living. Suicidal ideation is not just about extreme sadness. It can also be an escape from monotony and not understanding a purpose for breathing. Some people love everyone in their lives but cannot fathom what it takes to be present and breathing in a world plagued by capitalism. Feeling unfulfilled or stuck in a monotonous routine can bring about thoughts of “why am I even doing this?”
Checking back on my 2019 goals those several weeks ago reminded me of my intended purpose for this year. Reminded me that I wanted to start thinking about life as big picture, putting myself in control, and not merely survival. Now, instead of crawling through life one day at a time, I take it one year at a time. I daresay it’s helping to save my life.
For 2020, my theme will be “Living Well”.
Now I’d like to hear from you:
- Do you participate in goal setting or setting intentions for a new year?
- How do you make those decisions
- What effect does goal setting have on you?
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I felt this! Setting goals & making plans makes me feel organized, keeps me motivated, & reminds me of my purpose. Even when I don’t feel fulfilled elsewhere I can always look back at the fact that I stuck to something & accomplished a goal I set for myself. You worded it perfectly ❤️
Thanks for reading love! And it seems so simple but sometimes just having evidence on paper that we’re out here really getting stuff done is enough to keep the fire burning that much longer.
I don’t know how we are always so in sync but this post came right on time! Just yesterday I was reflecting on my year with regards to my mental health and I realised that I had set goals, achieved them all within 6 months and then abandoned goal-setting altogether and it was having such a negative impact on my mental health. Great post as always!
Heyy sis!! Thanks for reading and affirming once again. Sometimes before I press “publish” I’m like, these people gonna think I’m doing the most lol. So glad that’s not true.
I try to set intentions based on what’s happening at that time in my life. I try to look at what will be best for me and my family. I write them down and determine what’s most important. Then, I put in work.
Thanks for sharing!
Sis this was a word!! A lot of us need this. Goal setting is so important but sticking to the goals we set are more important. Like you said we have revisit and replenish to make sure we are still on track. That’s why so many of us set goals at the start of a new year and in January we’ve given up. I usually set yearly, monthly and weekly goals to keep discipline and stay on track!
Yes! When I first started, I would break down my larger goals into monthly tasks for tracking purposes. I’m thinking I should probably revisit that strategy to decrease the chances of me abandoning my goals for any stretch of time. Thanks for sharing!
I definitely need to start setting my goal around a theme. I definitely felt this because setting goals and achieving them help me feel organized and good about myself!
Right! Thanks for reading and sharing
This came just in time for me …very inspiring! This motivates me to push myself harder! I love how honest you are with yourself❤️
Appreciate that! It’s been a journey. Any way I can motivate, I’ll do it.
Thank you for sharing your methods. I truly appreciate this, as someone who deals with depression and anxiety sometimes our tried & true methods don’t work like they used to, so hearing or reading how other people cope definitely helps.
I actually don’t because I feel like… if I do not make my goals- I’m gonna be heartbroken. But I’m totally going to try to switch it up for 2020. Even if I only have two to aspire to come true
Definitely start small! In the beginning when I started, I had a few things on there that weren’t totally practical. I also just had some life circumstances that didn’t make some items feasible. But it’s a great learning process on knowing what you need to get where you want.
This is a great read. I set my goals based on many things, how I can achieve them, what I can do to achieve them and being realistic.
I think it’s important to set goals and hold yourself accountable.
I also believe in not getting down on yourself if all your goals weren’t achieved. Sometimes the work you’re doing to achieve it is a lot.
Most definitely. Always important to remember goals as a guidance and not the be all end all.
This was so good!! Thank you for sharing your process with us Queen! Much love
Thank you for reading!
I absolutely love goal setting. It gives me something exciting to work for.
I am very big into goal setting. Every year I do a life audit and set goals.
Thanks for sharing i am glad that you found ways to feel better.
Thanks for sharing this beautiful raw and inspiring post. I am a big fan of goal setting! It’s so wonderful to about your progress and how goal setting has helped you. Wonderful!
Thank you!