black woman pictured. Words read "give me some space! introverting while black"

If you’ve been following me on social or keeping up with the blog, you’re aware that I’m proudly #teamintrovert. Being an introvert is an integral part of how I experience social aspects of my life. I’ve also written about how my introversion when affects my professional life. Socially, it’s still confusing to some people what we’re not just shy people who hate the company of others. Sometimes that means even your own family is trying to figure out what your deal is when you slip away from the family gathering. Other times it’s people at work trying to figure out why you’re always coming up with excuses to get out of the monthly happy hour. For me, it looks like a constant battle with my Sagittarian zest for adventure butting heads with my overload of people interaction and why solo travel is my jam.

And when you’re a black girl and an introvert, people get weird about not being able to read you or not having unrestricted access to you as a source of entertainment. 

From a physiological standpoint, introverts and extroverts are differentiated simply by their arousal levels and tolerance for stimulation. Introverts can be outgoing. On the other hand, extroverts can absolutely be shy.

Some further reading on what it means to be introverted vs. extraverted:

5 posts on Black girl introverted life

Black Women Can Be Introverts

woman sitting on window reading book

This one is for those of us who feel like mainstream ways of thinking about people do not peg Black girls as introverts. Also, those of us who have experienced people seem to take personal offense when we decline to engage them. When all you want is for the extroverts is to respect your boundaries and play nice in the sandbox.

Introvert Travel Guide

woman sitting on armchair under white patio umbrella

How traveling alone can both feed a zest for adventure and that urge to recharge for several days at a time. Pace yourself, prioritize yourself, pamper yourself. Take the leap!

This One’s Personal (Sag/Introvert Struggle)

black woman searching country on globe

Ramblings from the beginning of the pandemic. My internal struggle is that the two sides of me don’t neatly overlap: Thrill-seeking Sag and PEAK homebody Introvert (INFJ). I love the beach, margaritas, and a hotel room. Occupancy =1. So I spent my time inside planning escapes for when outside would open again.

I Hate Networking

cheerful black women taking pictures on food on smartphone

Introverts don’t typically flock to networking events, but we’re still required to be a part of them every once in a while. Another “survival guide” post for some ways I’ve made it through networking events that I couldn’t escape. Hint: Sometimes… wine is involved.

Help! Introverted Black Girl at Thanksgiving

family having dinner and celebrating

When you’re a hardcore introvert, but there are 45 people at the family thanksgiving dinner. Running from the uncle who wants to hold sum, the great aunt who wants to play with some babies at your expense, and escaping the life updates of everyone at the table. Being introverted at big thanksgiving gatherings is basically an Olympic sport.

A huge part of maintaining your mental health as #teamintrovert is practicing self-care in ways that may not occur to others. Maybe you can’t say yes to every invite. Perhaps you need to time your appearances at events. Sometimes you just want to sit in silence. Other times, you want to have new experiences alone. Give yourself grace and let others know what your boundaries are.

How do you explain your needs to others as a #teamintrovert? Or, how do you support your introverted friends?